Why do we feel uncomfortable when we are going out of our comfort zone?
“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” — John Assaraf
We always hear that in order to achieve a goal we need to go out of our comfort zone and that is right. However, very few explain why we feel uncomfortable. Despite being a coach, I did not think about it until recently. I wanted a new relationship in my life, but I noticed that I was still afraid, and I decided to reflect deeper to understand better this old and mysterious feeling.
We know that doing things that are not familiar can be riskier and can make us feel more uncomfortable than normal and that is understandable. However, it should not be like that, we should feel excited about doing new things just like kids do when start learning how to use a new toy or meet a new friend. For instance, if you are starting a new business, a new relationship, or a new career path you may find that sometimes you are procrastinating or moving the deadlines instead to keep moving forward.
Stop doubting and start trying!
“We have to be brave, risk and follow the dance of life in order to discover the new you.” — Jacqueline Blas
According to research, this happens because we haven’t done the hard work to remove the pattern from the unconscious. It is paradoxical, but at the unconscious level we can be intolerant to our own happiness and we sabotage ourselves. This is ironic because we do have control over our happiness. Experiencing negative pleasure from harming ourselves may have its roots in our childhood. Sometimes suffering and distorted beliefs about what sacrifice is may have its roots also in distorted religion beliefs. And often we may not realize that we are still unconsciously parenting ourselves in destructive ways.
If we don’t want to stay stuck with our goals, we need to embrace this resistance, the fear to be seen naked emotionally and the fear to be the new you.
We need to remember that ALL development in all areas of life comes from outside our comfort zone. This may encourage us to move forward and try new endeavors, new relationships, change unhealthy eating patterns, or challenge our business and career goals.
