WHAT CAN CREATE A SUCCESFUL MARRIAGE?
A Godly marriage is like an ocean
that penetrates another ocean,
they blend together to become One ocean
~ Jackie Blas
Marriage is an amazing experience, having a life partner and a teammate help couples to become mature and happier. According to the Bible, a loyal partner is the foundation of a strong family (1 Timothy 3:11). Most people think that marriage is only about finding the “right” person, but in reality it goes beyond is also about finding ourselves together in God and serving Him because the Spirit of God is what makes the union joyful (Genesis 2: 22-24). When God is the center of the relationship there will be joy and romance. However, when there are communication break downs, irritation and tension it will be hard to stay happy. Most of us are unaware of the challenges of REAL LOVE. It is not easy to maintain real love because it requires a lot of effort and commitment to reality. Accepting our partner’s weaknesses can be challenging, but acceptance can help them to become better around us. Marriage in Christianity is designed to mirror the unconditional God’s love and the union of God and His church. According to Gary Thomas, an American Christian minister, God designed marriage to make us saints. Although it can be challenging to balance each other wants and needs when for instance, only one is making the financial decisions when a couple needs to make decisions as two equal individuals setting a strong spiritual foundation can help the couple to succeed. Marriage is a spiritual, emotional and physical union and if one of them play games or is indirect about what they want and need, it can end up on engaging in manipulation.
Instead in a healthy relationship couples directly ask for what they want and need from their partner, so that they have the opportunity to respond and meet their needs. This is why communicating our needs in a daily basis, instead of complaining is really important. Expecting our partner to read our minds will always lead to disappointments. But directness is the best way to maintain an honest and authentic way of getting what we want in life.
EMOTIONAL REGULATION PREDICTS MARITAL SATISFACTION
Emotional regulation is about how quickly we can reduce signs of negative emotions or negative thinking. If we remain in a long negative emotional state, negotiation, mutual love expression and collaborative forms of communication can stop within a couple. Communication help couples to create a happy bond instead of a challenging one.
Why we cannot accept our partner mistakes?
Accepting that we are human and that we all make mistakes is very important. If we honestly look at ourselves, we can realize that we are far from ideal. When I was younger, I could not accept my mistakes so easily. I couldn’t accept it because I felt I disappointed myself. But if we study our own failures and mistakes we can learn to repair and accept responsibility for our actions. No one enjoys being wrong is an unpleasant emotional experience. It takes courage to accept our mistakes, but we can forgive ourselves and feel peace again. Without God a full oneness with our partner is not possible. Very few couples can enjoy this gift from God because they lack emotional intelligence. It is not just about meeting each other needs, but about transforming because you have developed a mindset that is glued and intertwine with the Grace of God in yourselves and because you both have deep awareness of your real identity and higher call together. This creates a very special unbreakable bond. Many self-centered marriages don’t understand this and their marriages get slowly poison after the honeymoon phase. We need to remember that our perfect match will always invite us to grow emotionally and spiritually. If you are still struggling with your marriage you can contact a professional that can help you to increase self-awareness and understand the spiritual principles in a marriage.
