what is the ego?
Understanding what the ego is can be very complex because human personalities are very complex and different. When we do not understand our mind we may think that we are someone that we are not, and often we don’t know why we do what we are doing. When we are unaware of how our mind works the ego is unconsciously covering our fears, insecurities and tries to put the self before others.
The historical development of the ego concept in psychoanalytic theory was for the first time build-up by Sigmund Freud. He describes in his theory that part of our mind is in mental conflict with reality. He said that only 10 percent of our mind is conscious and the rest is unconscious. His emphasis was focus on the mind’s structures that he called the ID, the Superego and the Ego. Furthermore, Carl Jung and others have kept correcting and developing other complementary frameworks due to gaps in Freud’s ego theory. In my coaching practice, I like to use an integrative approach that uses diverse psychological and spiritual viewpoints from the East and the West.
Nighty percent of our behavior and thoughts is unconscious
Herbert Schlesinger, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist says that discovering the unconscious part of the ego is very relevant is we want to understand our mind, suffering and behavior. For instance, in my journey, I discovered that psychological ignorance was a big part of why I was unaware of my ego. I used to perceive myself as the ego. When I discovered it, I was in shock because I could not believe that I believed all the thoughts that my mind pops up. Since then I have learned that all my anxieties were just the result of rejecting the imperfection within me. Gaining awareness in this area has been the best gift I ever gave to myself because I have now so much more peace and happiness.
To uncover what my ego was making me believe I had to do inner work, read books, assist in workshops, take different personality tests like the Enneagram and follow other psychological and spiritual practices to reach the core of myself.
“Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” John 3:3
Uncovering the ego is like a death and rebirth process that can make you feel uncomfortable, but at the end of this process, you can learn how to Master your ego (false self) with love and understanding instead of shame and fear. I remember that when I started to witness my inner conversations, I was surprised by the way I was speaking to myself.
Although gaining awareness is good, it doesn’t mean that we become perfect in one day. We grow every day, but we don’t need to deny anymore our ego or identify with it. Healing this mindset means integrating dark and light; it is a paradoxical process because we are integrating opposite parts. This is why in this process; we move backward and forward.
“Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.” Carl Jung
In this process, we recognize the needs and values expressed by each part and we learn to think WITH God. To think WITH God means that we recognize that we are One with our Higher Self, we recognize that we are part of God’s thinking. When we learn to think in this way our mind and body start to heal because our mind cannot attack the body as it used to.
Everything that we accept in our mind becomes real
It is the acceptance of our beliefs that make our thoughts real. Our mind has the power to create reality or illusions. Not being aware of our ego is self-destructive because our minds can take control, and this can create conflict and tension within us.
Ego self-discovery can be a painful process because we discover how our ego was making decisions based on “our” thoughts. The energy that we used to spend on seeking approval or trying to protect ourselves from what others think is liberated. We take off our heavy burdens and energy rises because we are done with past experiences and feelings that needed to be deal with.
Things that were blocking us, tasks that were avoided and memories now with the integration process we are able to let them go, while our soul finally starts learning how to bend for the service of others. As a result of this experience, we become genuinely kinder to ourselves to others, and we start learning how to cultivate and to tune with our Higher Self. We finally feel mentally complete and with more energy.
This is a paradoxical process because the fact is that the ego (what makes us suffer) help us to explore our mind so that we can pursue integration and become a whole person. Working with the ego may take some effort and time, if you feel that you are still struggling to identify your ego you may contact a professional in this matter.
